Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I`m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?""Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.`I liked it, but I couldn`t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,` she said.`What do you mean?` he asked.`Well, everyone kept yelling, `Get the quarter back!`
As in many homes on New Year`s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing."See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn`t miss a thing."